Smokey the Bear Resigns in SoCal

It's fire season in L.A. again.  I still have yet to see evidence that fire season is actually a season and not year round, especially with our continuing drought (I've also yet to see proof that this drought is really not just our regular weather).  At any rate we've had a few months without any biggies but this past week our firefighters are hard at work again.  While most of the fires are never actually in my neighborhood the smoke files into the L.A. basin and tends to hang around.  If you've already gone months without rain, the smoke combines with the heavy smog making for some delicious air.  It's the kind of air that I imagine has smokers thinking 'Yes!  No need to buy cigarettes today, I'll just open my window!'

The news media barrage us with safety measures as the air quality deteriorates (not that it was great to begin with remember).  Instead of 'breath with caution' or on bad days 'breath shallowly' it becomes 'just don't breathe.' 

And lucky you if you don't have air conditioning you get to choose what will cause your demise.  "Close the windows," the TV guy tells you, "You don't want to breathe this air!"  UNLESS you don't have air conditioning and it's hot (it's August in the Valley, is anything other than hot even an option?).  Then DO NOT close the windows.  So then you must choose, do you close the windows and suffer heatstroke?  Or do you keep them open and go with smoke inhalation?  Eenie Meanie Miney Moe?

In truth I've been camped out in Santa Monica watching the smoke drift out over the mountains and avoiding the worst of it.  I did however do one Valley errand this morning and am fairly certain I've had enough smoke inhalation to last me for the year, possibly the decade.  I tried to hold my breath but apparently oxygen deprivation affects your driving ability just as much as heatstroke. 

So if you live here, pull out the facemasks and crank up the oxygen tanks.  At least you'll not only cut down on your smoke inhalation, you can also avoid being one of the 25% of Californian's expected to get the Swine Flu this fall!  Oh Los Angeles, you and your charms...